There’s some part of people that want to go against being commanded to do something. It’s good and bad because sometimes it’s necessary because the commandment is wrong, or you need to avoid exploitation, or you need to do something else and prioritize. You can’t take care of someone else without taking care of yourself although sometimes we need to do it anyway. Admit it. You don’t want to.
When you know what you don’t want to do, even if it’s selfish, then you’re more likely to figure out honestly what you need to do or what you’re willing to do and make it fair.
Admit it to yourself. Use the non judgmental attitude of Daoism. It is what it is. Remove judgment. Admitting your selfishness helps you to figure out what you should do.